Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We’ve been saying it since the 3rd century B.C.
No doubt you’ve heard it and can quote it from memory, but do you know what it means?
It means that beauty is subjective.
What can I say about beauty? Our society is beauty-obsessed to the point that people who have it either don’t know it or they don’t value it. And people who don’t have it are willing to kill themselves (and others) for it. The sad part is that most people don’t understand what true beauty is. True beauty has nothing to do with looks.
What prompted me to write about beauty today was a comment I saw on Twitter. Some young’un said, “I can’t breath kandjsjsjd he’s so ugly now wtf happened ???” in reference to Will Friedle, the actor who portrays Eric Matthews on Boy Meets World and Girl Meets World.
I have absolutely no clue what “kandjsjsjd” means so don’t ask me. You’ll have to ask someone who grew up with a smartphone in their hand.
What kind of guy does she find attractive? Flava Flav? Rows of gold teeth and big clocks hanging around the neck is super sexy, right ladies? No? I don’t think so either but hey, at least he’d always be on time!
Anywho, despite what that girl may think, this girl (me) thinks that Will Friedle has kind eyes and a nice smile. In fact, judging by the number of female fans who stood up for him and weighed in on the ridiculous comment I’d say most women probably think he’s quite the stud muffin.
Even if there were some alternate universe or bizarro world where Will was “ugly” he’d still have his awesome personality to fall back on. Granted, I don’t know the man personally so I can only judge him by his tweets but it’s via those tweets that he appears to have a great sense of humor and a genuinely good heart. That, my friends, is what makes a man sexy.
But this post isn’t actually about Will. It’s about his response to the girl’s comment.
Will kept his response classy:
Now this is really what I wanted to talk about! Due to the fact that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, my theory is that even the most “ugly” person on the planet is beautiful to at least a handful of people. Everyone has different ideals of what beauty is and what one person may see as ugly another person will see as beautiful. There’s just one problem with this: Even the most beautiful person on the planet will feel ugly if he/she doesn’t love his/herself. We are all different and we cannot measure ourselves and our worth by other people’s standards. We can only measure ourselves and our worth by our own standards.
Many people set unrealistic standards for themselves. Girls and women want to look like super models without realizing that even super models don’t look like super models! Cindy Crawford herself said she wished she looked like Cindy Crawford. Jenny McCarthy went on a talk show and mentioned that her abs on the cover of a fitness magazine were photoshopped. Jenny has also talked about how she has been photoshopped in other magazines as well. Photoshop is beauty’s worst enemy because the standard of beauty that society has set for us literally doesn’t exist! No one is flawless.
If you haven’t seen the documentary Killing Us Softly: 4 then you need to see it ASAP! You won’t regret it, I promise. It even shows how a beautiful woman on the cover of a magazine was created using the features of various other women. The woman sure looked real but she was a total work of fiction. Do you really want to set your standard of beauty by this? Please don’t be fooled into comparing yourself to women who literally don’t exist.
The beauty industry makes people feel bad about themselves so that people will keep buying beauty products in an effort to make themselves temporarily feel good about who they are. Let’s face it, the beauty industry would be out of business if people didn’t feel bad about themselves. They get rich off of poor self-esteem and they depend on you to keep them rich! Don’t buy into the nonsense they’re peddling.
Here’s a little known fact for you: Eating disorders practically didn’t exist in Fiji until they got television. Don’t believe me? Here’s a NY Times article from 1999 discussing the topic.
Like Will said, true beauty comes from within. It’s your soul, your passion, your kindness, your love and your other qualities that make you beautiful, not the body you’re encased in. Looks fade with time, make sure who you are on the inside is what doesn’t fade.
We love and find beauty in the things that we invest in. Invest in yourself and let your inner beauty radiate for the world to see.